Alright, I’ll come clean because you already guessed it. This “caller” I speak of was a Ram’s Horn, also known as the Shofar. And these bits of bread represented my sins. And I embellish slightly. The seagulls really received more of an afternoon snack. My sins were rather minor; yes I told a white lie here and there. No, it wasn’t the subway’s fault I was late that time, or that other time. It was my fault and I need to really stop blaming the MTA. Yes, I might have been a bit judgmental, but for the most part, I’ve been a good little lady this past year.

So why then do I so enjoy the ritual of Tashlich? Perhaps because standing by the brown waters of the Hudson in my heels and Synagogue best, I allow myself to think about the last 365 days and the ways I wasted and embraced the 8760 hours that filled those days. But let’s be honest, breaking off a morsel of bread and tossing it into the river is easy- it’s the reflecting on your actions and attempting to improve or change them that takes work.

So I ask you, fellow tribe member/reader of my column, why don’t we ever toss our proverbial love sins away? Those we cling to, holding them captive in our hearts, hardening us for future romances. I wonder this year if perhaps we can give those hungry seagulls a little somethin’ extra- by sprinkling into the mix some of these love sins. So listen up ladies and gents, because I got some confessin’ to do:

• To those guys who enjoyed my company enough to ask me on a second date, and whom I subsequently and ashamedly showed my lack of interest in by not responding- I’m sorry. Even if I wasn’t into you, you deserved a reply. Silence is sometimes crueler than the truth, and believe me, I know, I’ve been on your end too. Which leads me to…

• To those guys who I went out with once, maybe even twice, whom I then created the most amazing and elaborate fairy tales about, I’m sorry. Investing such hopes and emotions after only having spent a few hours with you was silly. Wishing for a second date was rational, but designing our wedding invitations might have been a leap. So, I’m sorry, for putting way too much pressure on you. After all, you didn’t break my heart. I broke my own heart by offering you mine before you deserved it. (See how I turned that one around. I am a clever one, you really did miss out on the wonderful person that is me. Okay stop, Carmen, it wasn’t meant to be.)

• And finally, to me (and you and you and you)- I’m sorry for not always allowing the past to inform the present. In other words, for repeating old mistakes, going for the jerk instead of the gem, and so on. Maybe it’s time to let go of that one relationship that sunk royally a few years ago, and not keep dating those ‘kinds’ of guys. You know, the guys that “aren’t ready for more.” What exactly is this “more” they are so afraid of? I am sorry for you that you don’t get to have it with me. (See, I did it again!)

Well, I’m stopping there, those are a big three, and I think that will have to suffice for now. I hope that by watching your mistakes get eaten by the birds you feel as replenished and cleansed as I do. Alright year 5772, let’s start anew, because it’s getting cold by the river!